Smaller than I had been

"Then the lion said -- but I don't know if it spoke -- 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know -- if you've ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy -- oh but it is such fun to see it coming away."

"I know exactly what you mean, " said Edmund.

"Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off -- just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt -- and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me -- I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on -- and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again." [115-116]

WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST

You try
and you fail
and you try again

And you hit walls
and roadblocks
and street signs

You leave
and you go
and you run away

But you always find
at least one
at least one
who has been touched
who has been affected
who has been changed

-Written after watching "Born into Brothels" for the second time

The Serenity Prayer LP

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that You will make all things right
If I surrender to Your will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with You
Forever in the next.
Amen.

And, if you haven't checked out http://oneroofafrica.blogspot.com/ yet, DO IT.

Just a few...

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

mittens (not gloves!) and pum'kin-colored dishes;

african violets, dad's favorite: narcissus;
round knives that let you spread butter with ease;
but they can also spread jam or some cheese

window bird-feeders and dry rubber Wellies;

self-wat'ring pots and flowers that are smelly;
cordless can openers; yiaourti (yee-ah-OOR-tee)
cake plates are stacked like tea trays for the Tea
(this was as close to "stacking" as I could get:)

A fuller life

It is the branch that bears the fruit,
That feels the knife,
To prune it for a larger growth,
A fuller life.

Though every budding twig be lopped,
And every grace
Of swaying tendril, springing leaf,
Be lost a space.

O thou whose life of joy seems reft,
Of beauty shorn;
Whose aspirations lie in dust,
All bruised and torn,

Rejoice, tho' each desire, each dream,
Each hope of thine
Shall fall and fade; it is the hand
Of Love Divine

That holds the knife, that cuts and breaks
With tenderest touch,
That thou, whose life has borne some fruit
May'st now bear much.

-Annie Johnson Flint

LABOR PAINS

In the last nine months
there are a few things
I have learned

that I ought to rein in my emotions

that I need to be a better friend

to be kinder than necessary

to keep my mouth shut

Love Jesus; Do What You Like

"The world we inhabit makes everything complex, but there was a moment in His ministry when Jesus reduced everything to a radical simplicity. When He spoke about the first two commandments...He said, 'On these, hang all the Law and all the Prophets.' It's like: 'Okay, guys, if you're really stuck, forget the whole Bible, just remember the first two commandments and you'll be cool.'

Or as the early apostles used to say, 'Love Jesus; Do What You Like.'

'Cause the reality is, if you love Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, the last thing on God's green earth you will do is what you like.

Love Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and do what the heck you like.

Thing is, you can't do that; when you get so caught up in who God is, when you get so enraptured by His nature, the one thing you wanna do is waste your life for the cause of God, because there is no other way to live."
-Graham Cooke

Branch of Easter, Unforeseen

BEAUTIFUL CHANGE

Oh I'm going to find some peace of mind.
At any time I could change, any day,
a beautiful change.
Some low sinking clouds become reindeer
while I'm standing here at the door,
looking for a beautiful change.

The snow is here. The light is bright.

Flower forth, and soon, branch of Easter.
I want to be here when he needs me,
he will see a beautiful change.
Oh and he wades into the yard.
Nothing has been what I'd guessed so far.
Unforeseen, this most sweet, beautiful change.

- Karen Peris

Let it die; let it go

DAISY

Daisy give yourself away
Look up at the rain, the beautiful display of power and surrender
Giving us today when she gives herself away

Rain, another rainy day
Comes up from the ocean, to give herself away
She comes down easy on rich and debt the same when she gives herself away

Let it go, daisy let it go
Open up your fist this fallen world
Doesn't hold your interest, it doesn't hold your soul
Daisy let it go

Pain, give yourself a name, call yourself contrition, avarice or shame
Giving isn't easy, neither is the rain and she gives herself away

Daisy why another day, why another sunrise, who will take the blame
For all redemptive motion and every rainy day
He gives himself away

Let it go...

-Jon Foreman

GOOD FRIDAY

it's a good Friday

a good day to die
and be died for
to live and let live

to weep and mourn
and toast and feast
to sing and be sung to

so I'll sing for you

Taking hold, no matter how splintery

Words of wisdom from Elisabeth Elliot:

"The idea of endurance in the Bible is associated with some wonderful words like faith, patience, crown of life, hope, love, courage. The emphasis of endurance is on the ultimate object, not on how the sufferer actually felt in the middle of the night." from All That Was Ever Ours

"Learn to give yourself away. Let it all go--all the sorrow, the frustration, the abuse and the ambition--and take hold of the cross." from A Path Through Suffering

"This is what the cross of Christ means--the willingness to take whatever conditions are necessary in the path of obedience, letting go of our preferences." from Relinquishing Our Will, cassette series

Related

From The London Times - December 27, 2008

As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God:
Missionaries, not aid money, are the solution to Africa's biggest
problem - the crushing passivity of the people's mindset
by Matthew Parris

Before Christmas I returned, after 45 years, to the country that as a
boy I knew as Nyasaland. Today it's Malawi, and The Times Christmas
Appeal includes a small British charity working there. Pump Aid helps
rural communities to install a simple pump, letting people keep their
village wells sealed and clean. I went to see this work.

It inspired me, renewing my flagging faith in development charities.
But travelling in Malawi refreshed another belief, too: one I've been
trying to banish all my life, but an observation I've been unable to
avoid since my African childhood. It confounds my ideological beliefs,
stubbornly refuses to fit my world view, and has embarrassed my
growing belief that there is no God.

Now a confirmed atheist, I've become convinced of the enormous
contribution that Christian evangelism makes in Africa: sharply
distinct from the work of secular NGOs, government projects and
international aid efforts. These alone will not do. Education and
training alone will not do. In Africa Christianity changes people's
hearts. It brings a spiritual transformation. The rebirth is real. The
change is good.

I used to avoid this truth by applauding - as you can - the practical
work of mission churches in Africa. It's a pity, I would say, that
salvation is part of the package, but Christians black and white,
working in Africa, do heal the sick, do teach people to read and
write; and only the severest kind of secularist could see a mission
hospital or school and say the world would be better without it. I
would allow that if faith was needed to motivate missionaries to help,
then, fine: but what counted was the help, not the faith.

But this doesn't fit the facts. Faith does more than support the
missionary; it is also transferred to his flock. This is the effect
that matters so immensely, and which I cannot help observing....

....Removing Christian
evangelism from the African equation may leave the continent at the
mercy of a malign fusion of Nike, the witch doctor, the mobile phone
and the machete.

To read the full article, visit:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece

Thanks, I needed that

The following is from a blog that has made me a reader; it is about a family that uprooted their life in America and moved to Africa to adopt a little boy.

"We've noticed that Sterling has a tendency to clutch his food tightly, and we've realized that probably comes from his time at the baby home, where having food taken from you by a greedy peer is a real possibility. I'm sure the powers-that-be discourage that sort of thing, but they can't watch everyone all the time, and so his food has probably been forcibly removed from his shrimpy little hand a time or two. So today I gave the kids one of their favorite snacks: sweet bananas with peanut butter. Everyone gets a banana and a spoonful of peanut butter to use as they wish. But I upped the ante today and gave them all a few dark chocolate chips to add some depth to the flavor. The other kids all left their chocolate on the table and picked them up one by one to eat. But Sterling gathered them all in his hand and clutched them tightly. They were his precious sweeties, and he wanted to keep them safe. Of course, they melted in his hand and turned into a gooey brown mess. He salvaged some of it with his spoon, but most of his chocolate wound up getting washed down the sink with soap and water, lest he paint the walls, table, benches, beds, toilet, light switches, door handles, and Lord knows what else with his soiled mitts. He tried to hold on to the gift I'd given him, and only wound up losing most of it down the drain. By clutching his gift so tightly, by refusing to trust that it would be there if he remained open-handed and left it on the table, he lost what he was trying so hard to keep. Someone else once said something along those lines.
It was a vivid reminder to me of the whole reason I'm here: to live an open-handed life. And I'm still learning. And my kids are teaching me."

Thanks for sharing the lesson.

Read more at: oneroofafrica.blogspot.com

BROKETY BROKEY BROKEN

I'm not sure what more I can do
to make myself small
and scattered around

I've tried hope
and hate
and being okay with this

Each time
I get smaller
and more crumbly
and more realistic

I'm running down a life

HAPPY IS A YUPPIE WORD

Everyone dies
Everyone loves a fight
Nothing is sound
Nothing is right side right
Evening comes when the sun goes down in red
Nothing is cool
When will all the fighting end
When will all the fighting end

Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out

Everything fails
Everything runs its course
A time and a place for all of this love and war
Everyone buys
Everyone's got a price
And nothing is new
When will all the failures rise
When will all the failures rise

Happy is a yuppie word
Blessed is the man who's lost it all
Looking for an orphanage
I'm looking for a bridge I can't burn down
I don't believe the emptiness
I'm looking for the kingdom coming down
Everything is meaningless
I want more than simple cash can buy
Happy is a yuppie word
Happy is a yuppie word

-Jon Foreman

The Sweetest Place

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days--these waiting days--as ill!
The One who loves thee best, who plans thy way,
Hath not forgotten thy great need today!
And, if He waits, 'tis sure He waits to prove
To thee, His tender child, His heart's deep love.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Thou longest much to know thy dear Lord's will!
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corrodingly within, because of His delay--
Persuade thyself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves, will do the best.

[This is where it gets good:]

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way hath opened. Then, ah then, how sweet!
How glad thy heart, and then how swift thy feet
Thy inner being then, ah then, how strong!
And waiting days are not counted then too long.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
What higher service could'st thou for Him fill?
'Tis hard! ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all how much is lost!
'Tis hard, 'tis true! But then--He giveth grace
To count the hardest spot the sweetest place.

--J. Danson Smith (emphasis, mine)