More words I made...

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A Poem for Melanie's Birthday

BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLDED

My first memory was the day you performed
the magic show in Miss Sullivan’s class
You invited me to your Cabbage Patch party;
I brought my Cyndi Lauper record

By the fifth grade we were close enough to share the same coat
and dress up as the two-headed roller skater
Slipped on Isotoners to cat-foot it onto Garfield’s street
and “spy” on passing cars
took them off to face-paint the soles of our feet

We danced to the tune of bum-bum, kitty-kitty
where the rapists and Jersey barriers play
Crossed-dressed and ran from Mugsy and men in Broncos
Snorted Smarties and trafficked gumballs

Wished on the same shooting star
Waited 40 years to jump off the ironing board
and for you to clean the bunny cage

Hitched the ride to Nana’s
laughing to stop having fun back there!
Put our heads together to make
my brown eyes, yours, blue

Your one kidney, my two
Always one more than you
I’d give you both
Infinity

2003

WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST

You try
and you fail
and you try again

And you hit walls
and roadblocks
and street signs

You leave
and you go
and you run away

But you always find
at least one
at least one
who has been touched
who has been affected
who has been changed

-Written after watching "Born into Brothels" for the second time

LABOR PAINS

In the last nine months
there are a few things
I have learned

that I ought to rein in my emotions

that I need to be a better friend

to be kinder than necessary

to keep my mouth shut

GOOD FRIDAY

it's a good Friday

a good day to die
and be died for
to live and let live

to weep and mourn
and toast and feast
to sing and be sung to

so I'll sing for you

BROKETY BROKEY BROKEN

I'm not sure what more I can do
to make myself small
and scattered around

I've tried hope
and hate
and being okay with this

Each time
I get smaller
and more crumbly
and more realistic

MY HOPE IS IN THE LORD

February 10, 2009

My hope is in the Lord

not in you
or you
or this
or that
or things
or reason
or evidence
or arguments

My hope is in the Lord
My hope is in the Lord
My hope is in the Lord
My hope is in the Lord

I keep telling myself
over and over and
over and over
hoping that I will believe
that there is hope
that is my
that is mine
that is for me
in You

MAKE ME BELONG TO YOU

February 5, 2009

carve me out of wood
carve me out of stone
create me
so that i might exist in your world

"I belong to Him simply because He deliberately chose to create me as the object of His own affection." Phillip Keller, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23

MAGNETIC POETRY TAKE TWO

January 16, 2009

porcelain must linger
fire throb steel clean
use present prisoner
&
so surround self

---------------------

am as my father
though two

---------------------

A Haiku for Brooklyn Naim Lorenz:

porcelain sister
& never something marble
slow open flower

THIS IS WHERE THE REAL DYING BEGINS PART II

December 14, 2008

seven years ago
God told me that I was a pear tree
that was half dead and half alive

"Having a form of godliness but denying its power..."

one side, green and laden
the other, black and fruitless

years later
the tree was cut down
and I wondered

"What does this mean?"

surely God wouldn't cut me down
like the Giving Tree

except this year
He did

NEW VOTER REGISTRATION

November 4, 2008

Overheard:

"Political Party?"

Silence.

"You have to put something..."

"Uh...Obama...whatever that is."

Silence.

EVERGREEN

The orange light in the cemetery

made me slow and made me stop
I hoped to find a way inside
after passing the entrance that I knew
so I turned away and wound around
and found myself climbing the hill
to where the light was particularly mellow

It's the eighteenth of November
and finally cold enough for the leaves to die and fall
but I marvel at how the leaves on
some trees still remain green
while the sun falls just low enough
to let me see
and let me go

2007

AUTUMNUS

October 10, 2008

this is the most hopeful season
because everything is
dying
including myself
and it is going to be beautiful

THE LADY IS A TRAMP

October 3, 2008

you took a chance on me
hoping that I would see
all that you are
all that you could be

I saw
and heard
and touched
and tasted
and believed

I all but took you in
and only let you go
because the me you knew
was never going to be all of who I am

you took a chance on me
that didn't pay off
no matter how many times
I blew on your dice

YOU’RE NOT ASKING AND I’M NOT TELLING

October 2, 2008

Let me be clear about this:

It's not over because
of this
or that

It's because you said
I don't…
…you do.

But what I want to know is:

Why the f*** not?

REVENGE FOOD SEX HEROIN

October 2, 2008

I could bail you out
and make revenge a part of the package
a Lorena Bobbitt benefit

Instead I'll let you fall
with a hole in your golden parachute
until you find another crisis

UNTITLED

October 2, 2008

the tree has dropped her leaves
like so many golden strands of thread
a vermicelli of hair
fallen
like a hoopskirt
around her willing knees

WHAT MY FLESH WANTS

October 2, 2008

to touch
to taste
to see you again

to hear
to speak
to complicate

SO THIS IS LETTING GO

October 2, 2008

WEEK ONE
I couldn't sleep without Tylenol PM
I couldn't eat
I couldn't be awake without feeling sick
I couldn't wake up without thinking about you as soon as I opened my eyes

WEEK TWO
I couldn't eat
I couldn't be awake without feeling sick
I couldn't wake up without thinking about you as soon as I opened my eyes

WEEK THREE
Repeat

WEEK FOUR
I couldn't be awake without feeling sick
I couldn't wake up without thinking about you as soon as I opened my eyes

WEEK FIVE
I couldn't wake up without thinking about you as soon as I opened my eyes

WEEK SIX
Now a lump has settled into my stomach
It's the part of you that I don't want to give up

THE ONE THAT SITS IN THE CORNER

October 2, 2008

I looked at your empty chair today
and somehow you were in it
hollowing out the air and
gravitating the space
heavy and colorless
but present still

October 2, 2008 - Seven month anniversary of my father's passing